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100% Happy
So happy!
Since over a month I am having a great time together with my two boys, I love them so much. After being 4 months in Mexico with my family now me and my son are back at home in Germany, the place we belong to. We enjoy the lovely weather, a bit rainy and cold but definitely lovely. The Autumn has come and I have to say, that I was always a big fan of the summer time but now I´ve changed my opinion, I do love Autumn so much and one of my favourite month of the year is November specially November 26 an special day for me.
]]> Thoughs at Night

Thoughs
Theres a lot of things happening in my life, i am far of being content with myself and with all the things I have done in the last months, I hurt the person I love the most and i can't pardon myself for that, there are no words or actions to show him how much I regret myself for that. Was the last thing i wanted and now I wish to have the gift of going back on time and make things different, to explain the reasons of my bad attitude or just to say how much I love this person. I never pretend to hurt anybody, I love the people around me and I feel blessed for sharing every moment with them. But how I can express this pain when I am so far away?
Life hurts sometimes; this is an unfortunate reality. A life that includes hope, love, passion, beauty, angryness and maybe pain, a life that is worth to life for. We love because we must, because it is what gives us our humanity, our purpose, and our happiness. Life is harder than i can imagine, and we open ourselves to such damage and pain at the hands of others, but this is the way it must be. We are here to learn and share that with your loved ones. One day, in a close future I will teach my son to care the ones he loves, I want him to be a better person that I, all I want is to make things better in all the ways.
I've cried a lot, especially when nobody was looking. Some days I'm angry. Others I'm sad. I've had a few moments where I've almost accepted it. In the end, I still question why this happened to me?

Please always know I love you and no one can take your place; Time goes so fast and now I am losing hope please don't forget us, we will always think about you.
M&J ]]> ABC

ABC
Just here killing some time as in the past years, many thanks to Sidious and his blog where I took and copied this meme. It was fun! specially when I was ready and in the moment i post it I loose all the information because the website logged me out. I had to decide quickly if start from the begining and port it or just forget it and go to sleep xD
well... here it is 1hr later...
A of Alexander, my son's 2nd name.
B of Brunette, girls who are known to be reliable, dependable, intelligent, and exotic.
C of Crush, that burning desire to be with someone who you find very attractive and extremely special.
D of Drama Queen, yes, me sometimes. I drink Dr. Pepper!
E of Extreme Sport & Equipment, rocks!
F of Facebook like ppl say: It's good for procrastinating. xD.
G of Gentleman singing: "See dem Coming"
H of Hello Kitty rules!
I of Italia. The land where I fell in love. Most beautiful vacations ever!
J of Jan my baby or Justin Timberlake, my other baby. *drool*
K of Kissing, just wonderful to kiss and be kissed. (A.S. all the ways!)
L of Love, Lovely, Loveable. Me.
M of Maya
N of Niels, my love.
O of I'm Off, to bed yes now in a few minutes when I'm ready with this.
P of Power, sorf of "The Force" that one, what the Jedis & Siths used to kill each other.
Q of Queen, me...me...me. If Prince William marry me in some years.
R of Red Hot Chili Peppers, the Band.
S of Star Wars, reason how I meet 2 sweethearts: Sidious & Seyo Kane.
T of Tolkien, The Lord Of the Books.
U of UndergrO.ound, the old forum I had, it was great fun.
V of Victoria's Secret & VISA a perfect match!
W of William Shakespeare (greatest writer of the English language)
X of xD the World Famous Laughing Face
Y of Yey! Yarr! & Yeah! Common words I am used to say.
Z of Zurak, last name of my Star Wars character in a RPG. Fleet Admiral Maya Zurak ^^
]]> Jan Alexander is born
Jan Alexander Born in: Kiel, Germany
Date: 01.07.2008 Weight: 3810 kg Size: 54 cm
During the last part of my pregnancy i was starting to feel nervous about the birth, i spended lot of time infront of the internet trying to get as much information as i could, just wanted to be sure what it feels and what other women experience during the labor. I hoped some of my friends who are already moms could tell me about their experience but even that cannot help, every pregnancy is different and every woman also, but somehow you feel so happy of knowing that soon or later my baby will be born.
Jun 30, 2008
10:00am I started to feel something strange, contractions in the lower back and move to the
front of the abdomen. 11:00am I decided to call Niels to inform him about the contractions and wait until they get often and decide to go to the hospital. 13:00pm I Tried to get some sleep, I was tired and I had contractions almost every 20 mins. 17:00pm I had contractions every 15 mins. it was the sign to go slowly to the hospital. 18:00pm Being at the hospital they took a CTG to check how the baby was. Everything so far so fine. 19:00pm I got to hang out in the jacuzzi just before labor, to help the body to get relaxed. (It wasn't a water birth). 21:00pm I have got the epidural. Hoorray for PDA! This epidural or spinal
anesthesia allowed me to be
awake and able to see my baby as soon as it is born. In an emergency
situation, I would be put to sleep using general anesthesia.
This is the fastest anesthesia to administer when time is of the
essence. 22:00pm till Midnight From this time I was together with Niels and our mums inside my room waiting for our baby to come, we thought it will be a natural birth but it wasn't, over a long period of time the doctors decided to make a caesarean birth because the baby's head was bigger than the cervix and cannot be pushed out, everything else has been tried and was
the only alternative we had. July 1st, 20083:00am OP Room, getting ready for the surgery. 3:42am Jan Alexander was born.
I never experied something so bautiful like this before, just to hear my baby crying make my tears run out.. I was so happy like i was never in my life, to see him there and Niels at my side was the best moment ever and I will never forget it.

Special thanks to Elisabeth Laube and to the sweet Helena (thanks thanks thanks!) who make this possible. Thank you Elizabeth for visiting us week after week to see how Jan's was doing. 
]]> I Love Christmas
I Xmas
It's been forever since I posted here, I wish sometimes to have more free time to dedicate to my lonely blog or to read some friend's blogs, I miss that so much, otherwise I spent all my free time for my son, sometimes just to relax and if i am lucky i can be able to check my mails and if i am supermegalucky i can even have a short chat on msn. But now is even worst lol my PC is only 0.5% working like it should be and it makes things worst or at least more difficult, but ...What we can do? just keep the "good mood" and keep on posting.
Sometimes I start to post something and I save my drafts to be posted later, what is so funny is that with the latest post it happens that shouldn't be posted because is not even ready is only a draft, but again as it took me too long time to check my blog, well it posted it self after a time.
I am fine, my boys as well. I am so happy because I love Christmas and I love shopping and to think about presents. Awww.
The latest news is that we moved not long ago and we are getting to know this new city, it looks cute and very pretty during Christmas, I love to go out and walk in the downtown and check the shopping area, what in the last years i didn't enjoyed because I was getting use to buy online more than going directly to the stores.
Soon we are celebrating our bdays too and I am happy some friends will visit us. I am also writing some nice Xas cards to be sent as soon as possible, including yours my dear friends (Kane & Sidious) live almost every year.
]]> Fank You
Fank you
This is my special thanks to those friends i meet in Condor, who I share special moments with them, here we go: (some in spanish)
Carolina: Tu eres una gran amiga y lo sabes! desde que te conoci me di cuenta que seriamos buenas amigas, gracias por ser como eres, tan bella y con ese corazon tan dulce, te quiero mucho ni?
Aurora: Eres la leche mujer! de t?prendi muchas cosas y me diste valor en momentos dificiles, me encanta tu forma de ser y ahora que soy t?soy mas feliz porque s?ue habr?n este mundo una peque?eplica de t?ihi.
Ali: Foto? jeje, immer am lachen,]]> My Sweet Pregnancy
My Sweet Pregnancy
Hey Friends hope you all are having a good time, here the summer just started and I am at the begining of the 9th month of my pregnancy! woah! the time went too fast but until now everything is just FINE! I'm so proud of this little baby inside me because he is doing pretty well, my Gynecolog says that he is so healthy.
Since the last weeks i can feel his movements so clear, when he moves from one side to the other and specially when he is kicking with his legs...tsts, I will talk to him when he is here, for a couple of weeks i could feel his fist and it was a.m.a.z.i.n.g!
I am most of the time talking to him, he tends to kick me around 4am, 6am, 10am, 2pm... etc and of course right before going to sleep, I think he enjoys that the most...
...you're not allowed to laugh about it...
xDDD
Okay and now as I promised lol... the latest pics of me and...... with Belly! (ehm... that's the name of the sheep)
_________________________
Song of the day: Fall Out Boy ft. John Mayer "Beat it"
]]> Loving Jan
Loving Jan
Wow! it's been ages since the last time i posted in my blog. It's because i am enjoying my life in the new apartment together with my dear, enjoying being pregnant and having good times with our friends. In the last months many things happened, my belly is now really big but i think it looks pretty 
About my baby, we know that will be a boy! we also decided to call him JAN. He is a little healthy one and since a couple of months (february) I can feel him moving, his moves are so strong now because the space is getting smaller for him.

I have many things left to do! I have to prepare my suitcase for THE DAY! when I have to go to the hospital, I need to get all the things the baby needs for the first week, I'd love to have some nice studio pictures of my belly... and some other things i can't remember now.

Many thanks to our friends who have sent all the lovely presents! Specially for Jan's Grandparents who are so excited about Jan's birth as us.
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Song of the day: Madonna "4 Minutes"
]]> Happy New Year 2008
Happy 2008!
Happy new year to everyone!
Wishing you much health and happiness.
This week has started with lot of things to do, I'm moving into a new apartment and because we don't have a car, well all has to be .s.l.o.w.l.y. Things are going well so far, my belly is growing and I sleep less at night, but this is part of the pregnancy.
Is strange, I enjoy everyday and every feeling, I am so glad to be one of those women who's lucky to have a lovely man next to me, I totally admire every single mother who gives their child a nice life after all the difficulties of this world.
For me is different, somehow easier, I do have somebody at my side and I feel his support everyday, feel the love to his baby.
If i ask myself what i am gonna do in the next days, well first of all i need to get some new clothes xDDD ...shopping alarm!!! oh yes, soon pictures!
_________________________
Song of the day... Sade "Smooth Operator"
Chatting with... Nobody
Somethin' to see... xD]]> Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas!
Hallo everyone!
Tomorrow is Christmas...! only a few days for a delicious meal, presents and family! Oh i wished me this day so much, specially because this year we are at Niels Mum's place, I'm looking forward to be there!
We're fine, my baby is growing and i believe people ca see my belly slowly growing, maybe is just my imagination, our baby is now 7cm big and looks so cute (will show a pic) Niels and I are moving into a new apartment at the begining of the next year, there are a few things to do before moving into.
Many people I'd loveto to congratulate in person on this Christmas specially my dear friend Taylor who's in Spain, Kane & Sidious, Motoko, Annie, Jordi aka Yoda, Karesh, Warik, Leesha, Anna & Lilly, Nane, Anika, Arne, Mama & Papa Peschla, Dennis & Ole, Eike & Melanie, Uncle SvenO & H?, all the Kielers Buddys, Z?l, Christian Delgado and Friends, Carolina, Aurora & Ali, Cathy, Brian, Nadin, Annica, Anika S., Svenja, Thomas, Sassy, Frauke, Julia & Chris, Birgit aka Dr. Horn, the lovely Samia, Sabrina aka Ms. Fischer, Robertino, Georgia, Hammi, Mijan, Silke, Vanessa & Jan ...aww soo many! so this way I want to wish you all a ...Merry Christmas!
_________________________
Song of the day... Niels Music "Jazz"
Chatting with... Nobody
Somethin' to see... xD]]>
in the European Union began to reauthorize its manufacture and sale. As of August 2007 over 100 brands of in a dozen countries are produced. Etymology The French word can refer either to the alcoholic beverage or to the actual wormwood plant (grande being Artemisia absinthium, and petite being Artemisia pontica). The word derives from the Latin absinthium, which is in turn a stylization of the Greek aps?nthion, wormwood. Some claim that the word means "undrinkable" in Greek., but it may instead be linked to the Persian root spand or aspand, or the variant esfand, which would have meant Peganum harmala, also called Syrian Rue though not an actual variety of rue, another famously bitter herb. That this particular plant was commonly burned as a protective offering may suggest that its origins lie in the reconstructed Proto-Indo-European root spend, meaning "to perform a ritual" or "make an offering." Whether the word was a borrowing from Persian into Greek, or rather from a common ancestor, is unclear. "Absinth" (without the "e") is a spelling variation of that is often seen in central Europe. Because many Bohemian-style products use this spelling, it is often thought to be synonymous with Bohemian Absinthe, but such is not always the case. References: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia pharmacist
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